I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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