His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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