Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
