Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize