i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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