last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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