If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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