I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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