This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
