If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you had me at cake vodka
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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