Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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