wrigley field is MILF paradise
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
