i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
