3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
