Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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