i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
