I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
