There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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