I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
