good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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