I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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