Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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