Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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