We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
