The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
