I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
