I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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