Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
