dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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