I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
