I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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