so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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