We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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