I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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