You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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