I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
