I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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