What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize