Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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