I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
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What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality