like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
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Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall