So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
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Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno