well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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