So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.