Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

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(619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room http://tfl.nu/3g7q

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(804): View more from Virginia

they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house

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(804): they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house http://tfl.nu/am3o

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(718): View more from New York

They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

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(718): They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule http://tfl.nu/5d7q

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(815): View more from Illinois

You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

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(815): You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark http://tfl.nu/4we1

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.

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(508): i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude. http://tfl.nu/zgqp

Replies (87) Good night (26517) Bad night (4945)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"

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(715): not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it" http://tfl.nu/1hnw

Replies (21) Good night (1304) Bad night (5254)
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(513): View more from Ohio

i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

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(513): i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week. http://tfl.nu/8le3

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(740): View more from Ohio

Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

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(740): Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed? http://tfl.nu/4keg

Replies (12) Good night (2988) Bad night (1166)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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(814): He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever http://tfl.nu/aoid

Replies (10) Good night (3641) Bad night (1182)
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(914): View more from New York

I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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(914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c

Replies (7) Good night (2657) Bad night (1477)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party

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(617): She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party http://tfl.nu/crsc

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(512): View more from Texas

There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.

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(512): There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls. http://tfl.nu/qrvu

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(928): View more from Arizona

Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.

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(928): Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week. http://tfl.nu/3dmv

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(319): View more from Iowa

I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.

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(319): I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party. http://tfl.nu/7y6s

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(248): View more from Michigan

Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.

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(248): Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up. http://tfl.nu/1llp

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