So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
