So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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