when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
