sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
