I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
