too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
