Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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