Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize