Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
