this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm like, not good at living.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
