no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
