google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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