You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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