speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize