just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
