I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
