home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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