The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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