is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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