its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
